Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I'm always down for nudity.
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