Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
