i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
