Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize