she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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