I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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