wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Couch. On fire.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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