Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
