yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I'm always down for nudity.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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