I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
