Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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