i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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