I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
