sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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