Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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