It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
