my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
