No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
