Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
