So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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