i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I wish my penis had an off switch
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Randomize
