Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
