so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
not ubering you a puppy
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
