I should be sponsored by Trojan
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
