Hey man sorry I got all grabby
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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