If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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