i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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