oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
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