yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
