question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
