Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
