3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
She just used a chaser for red wine.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
