I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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