he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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