Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
love makes seman taste better
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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