My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
