the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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