it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
