Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
