...so i touched it.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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