It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
