think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
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