The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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