Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
