good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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