Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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