you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
