I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
