well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
