I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I party with great urgency now.
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