I just saw a hot homeless man
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize