Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
