there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
