You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
