just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
We got so high we made milksteak
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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