We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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