she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
