I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
