I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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