we made out on top of his cat.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Randomize
