i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
