I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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