dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
