are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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