I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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