She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
