Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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