Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Actions speak louder than pants.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I am never drinking with the goths again.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
and you fell through a lawn chair
Randomize
