I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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