PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'm eating all of the evidence.
it was like eating out sand paper
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
tell me about the fingering
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize