I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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